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Wellness with Lisa Group

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Maverick Torres
Maverick Torres

Do Women Love Oral Sex

Whether you love it or hate it, you almost definitely have an opinion about oral sex, especially when it comes to performing oral sex. Sometimes you're into it, sometimes you're not, sometimes it's all about just focusing on trying not to gag if your partner has a penis, and sometimes you just give oral just so you can get some oral of your own in return. Like any other sex act out there, how women feel about giving blow jobs or cunnilingus can often depend on mood.

do women love oral sex

Sabrina, 27, misses oral sex. "I actually really love it, and when it's great with a partner, it's a staple. Currently, it's not much of a staple in my sex life, and it really bums me out. It feels like something major is missing. It's not left out of our sex life by my choice, but by his preference (I know it's not for lack of skill on my part!)...he told me he just doesn't enjoy it that much, he said it was the same with his ex-girlfriends, too...I'm happy that he enjoys intercourse, but without head on the table, it definitely can make sex seem stale. I mean, there's only so many ways [you can have sex.]"

Mieko, 34, sees the act as intimate. "I would be happy to do it if it's someone I am in love with; would adore doing it. But for someone I am not that into, hell no. Having sex and having oral sex are a bit different. Oral sex is little more personal."

Sonya, 20, wonders what it might be like to perform oral sex on a vagina. "Oral sex, which for me means going down on my boyfriend who has a penis, is something I do because it turns him on. There's no intrinsic fun in it for me, except that I love him and I want to make him feel good, you know? This is probably pure fantasy, but I feel like I would enjoy going down on a person with a vagina much more. I'm bisexual but have mainly dated guys."

Ilana, 24, needs a little verbal reassurance. "Oral sex, for me, is measured by the enjoyment of my partner. I love it when I can tell my partner, male or female, is enjoying it. If I can't tell, I get nervous and flustered and feel sexually inadequate. Hence my general preference for partners who are either verbal or at least use their vocal cords during sex.

When there's silence, and I can't tell if I'm giving pleasure to my partner, it totally takes me out of the moment. I am usually completely unselfconscious during sex (the only time I am ever unselfconscious), but the moment I start to worry that my intuition is not as good as I think it is, I stop enjoying giving oral sex."

Ladies are a different story. I feel like I am much better at cunnilingus; it's just more fun in general for me, and women don't tend to expect/demand it, so I am more likely to be giving in that way.

Catherine, 26, tends to use oral sex as foreplay. "My attitude on blow jobs is basically: the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Some days, I feel super confident doing them; a lot of people say it, but it really is a turn-on to see the effect it has on my partner. That said, I have a sensitive gag reflex and a jaw that tends to cramp up, so I usually can't entirely finish him off. Still, it's fun to get him pretty close before climbing on top of him."

Caitlin, 28, loves the joy oral sex brings. "I actually really enjoy giving blow jobs. There's a power in your sexuality when you give head, and it can be really fun if you embrace it. And if I'm with a good partner, it makes me happy that I'm giving them so much enjoyment. I'm in a long-term committed relationship and we both love giving and receiving, and pretty much start off that way before we have sex every time."

As is the case with any sexual act, you're under no obligation to give your partner oral sex. But if you love it, then go for it. If it's not your cup of tea, then it's not your cup tea, so take it off the menu. Boundaries exist for a reason.

If you're not a fan of oral, for whatever reason, then this is something worth discussing with your partner, according to Queen. Sometimes people don't like things because they don't understand them or feel like they might be doing it wrong.

"First, get a sense of what your partner likes most about [receiving oral sex] and what really works for them," Queen says. "This can help you fine-tune what you're doing and it often lets you to feel like you're doing it better. This heightened sense of competence can be a turn-on for some people." Confidence, after all, goes a long way.

As part of our research, we also investigated 13 other factors related to receiving cunnilingus to understand what leads to a satisfying experience for the receiver of oral and what should be avoided to prevent a lacklustre time (positions, techniques, duration, etc).

Side note: This result mirrors the results in our study on whether women enjoy giving blow jobs or not: The majority (92.6%) of women do enjoy giving oral sex to men. But just like this study over three-quarters (76.8%) of women have given a blow job in the past that they did not enjoy.

Understanding what leads to unsatisfying and unenjoyable oral sex for women is important. This way, you know what to avoid doing when going down on your partner and can instead focus on what brings her the most pleasure.

From this feedback, we can see climaxing and good technique are certainly important for good oral sex. However, they are not as important as the emotional feelings that the giving partner provides their receiving partner.

This is a powerful finding as many women in heterosexual relationships struggle to orgasm during vaginal intercourse while their male partners rarely experience this issue (a phenomenon called the orgasm gap).

However, 61.1% of women find being eaten out and vaginal intercourse to be equally enjoyable, with 30.5% of women preferring vaginal intercourse. When we remove those who find both to be equally enjoyable, 3.7 times more women prefer vaginal sex to being out.

We began this survey by collecting basic demographic information. Those who had never received vaginal-oral sex were disqualified, as were non-female respondents. All respondents were over the age of 18. All respondents indicated that they have a vagina with no respondents indicating otherwise. After this filtering process, we were left with a total of 1,058 respondents:

We spoke with certified sex therapist Holly Richmond, Ph.D., and certified sex coach Gigi Engle to get their insight, and as it turns out, there's no shortage of oral sex techniques to try. With over two dozen techniques, we're sure one of these will help you do the trick.

For many women, orgasming is physical and mental; they need to feel relaxed and in the mood. "So much of oral sex is the lead-up to it," Richmond notes. "Don't dive right for the clitoris. Begin by making out and exploring other areas first," she says, such as:

Giving head on your knees might seem like something more traditionally associated with blowjobs, but it can be hot for pretty much anyone. Remember to spread the labia here for more clitoral exposure.

According to Engle, it's important to make sure your partner knows how much you want to give oral sex. Some people don't enjoy oral because they can't get out of their head, when a little reassurance is all they might need. "Making them feel comfortable and sexy in their body will help them relax. A relaxed woman is one more likely to experience an orgasm!"

Noting that few studies have examined the actual enjoyment associated with giving and receiving oral sex, the researchers conducted their own using heterosexual college students aged 18 to 24 as participants.

Good question! Let me start by saying that oral sex has become an incredibly common sexual practice in the United States in recent years. In fact, nationally representative survey studies have routinely found that the vast majority of both men and women have engaged in this activity. For example, recent data from the National Survey of Family Growth finds that 86-87% of American adults aged 18-44 have done it at least once (see here for stats on other sexual behaviors).

In sum, these data suggest that the vast majority of young men and women find both giving and receiving oral sex to be at least somewhat pleasurable. However, having a partner who is willing to reciprocate is an important factor in pleasure experienced, at least for women.

[1] Wood, J. R., McKay, A., Komarnicky, T., & Milhausen, R. R. (2016). Was it good for you too?: An analysis of gender differences in oral sex practices and pleasure ratings among heterosexual Canadian university students. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 25(1), 21-29.

Ah, knowing how to make a guy go down on you should be a breeze, right? Every guy likes receiving blowjobs and knows how good it feels, so of all people, men should know the pleasure one can get while receiving oral sex.

Attraction works in mysterious ways and different people are attracted to different things- this has a lot to do with their zodiacs. Seducing women can be tough at times, not all women are playing hard to get but some of them are just really hard to get.

Also, what women want in bed could vary from people to people- But because we're suckers for devouring everything under the sun, we're gonna spell out what women love in bed, according to their sun signs. Thank us later?

Easy Turn On: Aries women are usually a bit hot-headed but they calm down very quick too. Due to their temperament, they hold a lot of tension in their heads and they love a head massage every once a while. So if you want to turn her on bad, just massage her head gently, play with her hair or give them a gentle (or maybe rough) pull while doing her.

Taurean women just hate the idea of a chase and they prefer men doing the leg work, to make things easier. She's very indulgent in sensual and romantic pleasures so you may not want to go completely hardcore on her. Set the mood ablaze with some champagne, chocolate covered strawberries or draw her a nice and sexy bath with some exfoliating bath salts and she's yours. Also, maybe do it on a nice romantic jazz number with her?


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